Reality

I love how people always tell me that I seem like I have everything under control and that I have the perfect life when in reality it is the total opposite.
Yeah I have the perfect house and the perfect car and lots of money.
But those things meen nothing to me.
I dont have people that are there to support me all the time
I dont have a loving family to fall back on
Some days I feel useless but then I look at my son and I know he is the reason I live.
If it weren't for him I probably would have commited suicide in 2007
I cry myself to sleep most nights just overwhelmed with everything.
I have to hold myself back from bringing out the blade again

I miss my partying ways but now I have a bigger responsibility my son Hunter James!